The love scene in “Halloween III: Season of the Witch” always annoys me. It’s like “We’re searching for my father’s killer, but hey, let’s take a break from the investigation and have sexytimes.”
Although in all fairness, I probably shouldn’t talk. Tracking down a murderer is probably stressful business, and we all know sex in a cheap motel with a potentially alcoholic doctor who you just met is a great stress reliever.
You don’t seem to like me much these days and let’s face it, I’m not your biggest fan lately either. So how about this: you stop kicking me in the nads and start letting some things go right in my life and in return I’ll stop being *such* a bitch for, oh, let’s say a week. We can take it from there. Deal?
PS Let’s not get it twisted. I’m still going to be a bitch, but I’ll dial it down from Joan Collins to Heather Locklear. That’s like a level or two down, right?
It has come to my attention that there has been a lot of talk recently about the gays brainwashing the nation. I guess my “Welcome to Gay Land” packet was missing the Guide to Brainwashing because I was completely unaware we possessed this ability. Don’t you think I would have employed this technique at one of my many job interviews by now?
And just for the record, we also can’t fly, become invisible, or control the weather. I don’t want to see any press conferences blaming us for global warming because we want it to be swimsuit season 365 days a year. We’re not Marvel Superheroes.
I do a lot of fluff pieces on my tumblr, but I feel the need to get serious for a moment. Regarding this week’s rash of bullying-related suicides, I truly hope I can one day join in on the “It Gets Better” view. In my current world, it sadly has not. At 25 years old, I still can’t walk into a public location in Iowa (or much of the midwest for that matter) without becoming the target for looks, points, and profanities being hurled my way. This is something that the gay community has to contend with on a daily basis and it needs to end. At the risk of sounding like Kelly Killoren Bensimon on Scary Island, this kind of behavior is not acceptable whether you’re 5 years old or 105 years old.
I’ve always believed God makes his strongest souls gay, because it is not always a fabulous cakewalk. It’s a tough life, but I wouldn’t want to be anything other than who I am. If these past 7 days haven’t been a call to really start respecting people for who they are and embrace equal rights, I don’t know what is.