March 2012
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What?? No new Revenge episodes until April??
Oh ABC, why do you test me so?
I need a drink.
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This is a non-sexual post that will probably sound...
As we all know, I’ve given peanut butter up for Lent this year. I miss it already…and it’s only been one week.
Do you think it would count as cheating if I put a spoonful of it in my mouth, but just didn’t swallow?
February 2012
97 posts
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"Pornographic is not biblical!" --Vicki Gunvalson
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Can someone please get Debra Messing a better wardrobe on Smash? I mean, is her character supposed to be somewhat frumpy, or does the costume designer just not know how to dress her?
Was she not one of the best-dressed women on television at one time, not so very long ago? I feel like we’re one batwing monstrosity away from being in Kyle Richards territory…
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Booking a pre-NYC wax appointment, and I find out my usual aesthetician is no longer with the spa.
But…why? Was she fired? Did she quit? Did she finally run off to Bermuda with her secret lover?
So many questions. However, I don’t have time to ponder them, as I now have to contend with the fact that I’ll have to basically splay myself out in front of someone moments after...
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I want to lose five pounds, not run a daycare.
Briana: Is Angelina even thinner?
Me: I wonder what her secret is...
Briana: Adopting fifty children?
Me: Well, that's one diet I won't be trying.
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Apparently, Miss Piggy had custom-made Louboutins on tonight. I need to see pictures.
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“I’ve come to believe that seeking happiness is not a frivolous pursuit. It’s...”
– Goldie Hawn
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Turtle Time is in full effect.
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I seriously just received a series of texts that included the phrases (or should I say, bastardizations of phrases?) “okkkkkk” “lollzzerzzzz” and “jeeeeellllllyyyyy timmmmeeeee.”
Why are there so many unnecessary letters? Are the keys on your phone getting stuck? Is this seriously a fad with the 18-21 age bracket?
This is just one of the many reasons I...
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I’m slightly nauseous, but I don’t have any Pepto. However, I do have three bottles of Pinot Grigio, so…
Cheers!
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I’m just going to say it: I’m so annoyed “Titanic” is coming back to theaters. I’m the one person in America who hated it the first time, and now I’m going to have to listen to everyone gushing about it and singing that damn song all over again.
Everyone seems to be very invested in what I'm...
Me: I've decided to try giving up peanut butter for Lent. I've been eating too much of it recently, anyway.
Mama Winkelman: Maybe you should try giving up alcohol instead.
Me: Mmmmm...no.
Mama Winkelman: Or! Or, if you don't want to give something up, you could try doing something instead. That's actually harder to do.
Me: Oh, like what?
Mama Winkelman: Like...maybe you could devote yourself to your faith? Be nicer! Let go of grudges! Maybe you could actually eat more...
Me: No, I don't think I'll be doing any of those. I'll just stick with the peanut butter, thanks.
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As a non-practicing Catholic, I'm not sure why I...
Beth: What are you giving up for Lent?
Me: Oh gosh, I haven't even thought about that yet...
Beth: Well, what did you give up last year?
Me: Porn.
Beth: ...and how did that work out for you?
Me: I was proud of myself! I only slipped up once, toward the end.
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Tay-Tay is now a New York Times Best-Selling Author.
I don’t even know what to think about the world we live in anymore.
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We're less than a month away from my birthday and...
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"HAAAAALE NAWL! BE QUIET! I LOVE FASHION!"
Ladies and gentlemen, the wisdom of Marlo Hampton.
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“Your average middle-aged housewife in Beverly Hills spends between 3k – 5k on...”
– The Daily Truffle
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I'm fairly certain that, after three drinks last...
I’d love to say my psychic abilities are increased after three martinis, but in actuality, I was probably just smashed.
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Being carded at the bar is the best gift a twenty-something can get.
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The Real Cost of a Beverly Hills Housewife →
Enlightening. I’d better start saving now if I want to be living the Beverly Hills high life by the time I’m 40 and Botoxed beyond belief.
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No shade, but does Ashlee Simpson do anything anymore? We haven’t really heard from her since she was fired from written out of that snoozefest revamp of Melrose Place.
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I seriously let out the gay-gasp heard 'round the...
Yeah, it was that good.
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I need all my “Revenge” people to form a prayer circle for Daniel tonight. I can’t have my eye-candy killed off the show.
I take my nighttime soaps very seriously. Obviously.
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I’d like to take this moment to announce that I do, in fact, have a Valentine this year.
His name is Vodka. He’s Russian and we have a volatile relationship. When he’s good, he’s oh-so-good, but too much of him literally makes me ill.
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To all my Tumblr dolls and darlings:
xoxo
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