March 2012
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Linguine with clam sauce and a glass of Pinot Grigio for dinner… followed by the rest of the bottle for dessert.
Happy Friday!
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WatchAhhh, Bethenny vs. Kelly. The first time Kelly’s craziness was fully captured by Bravo’s cameras. Good times.
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If I win Mega Millions, I'm thinking about taking...
Not because I love Donald or anything, but just to fulfill my (ridiculously nouveau riche) childhood dream of living there. I blame watching “I’ll Take Manhattan” at a young age. I just loved that Maxi Amberville had an apartment in such an ostentatious building.
Plus, it’s so close to such great shopping! A clotheshorse can’t pass that up.
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If I made a drinking game out of the number of times a day I see Facebook statuses containing the words “engaged,” “expecting,” or “homeowner,” I would be plastered 24/7.
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Taylor Armstrong May Quit RHOBH →
Riiiiight. Because it’s totally a famewhore’s nature to walk away from the limelight. Dragged away while kicking, clawing, and screaming? Yes. Gracefully exiting stage left? Never.
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I feel as though Revenge is never going to return...
:(
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Quite frankly, I don't think I should have to pay...
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I swear to God, the second I get a new phone, I'm...
Like, I’m going to go full-on Naomi Campbell with it (so watch out). I’ve never had such problems with a phone in my life.
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Bravo "Considering" Firing Taylor Armstrong. →
“If they don’t invite Taylor back, then she will be free to say whatever she wants. If they do, they will be able to control her…”
You mean like how they were able to “control her” from hijacking every event and dinner party last season to make it all about her? Or how they were able to “control her” from playing a part in threatening to sue her...
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Scandal: Summer means nip slips.
Me: Well, it's actually still March, but happily noted.
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My amazon recommendations never fail to make me...
Today’s selection? “Incredible Orgasms (52 Brilliant Ideas): yes, yes, Yes, YES, YESSS!”
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While the rest of North America was fangirl-ing out over the return of Mad Men, I was fangirl-ing over the infamous Chenoweth spit-take (dribble-take?) on GCB.
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I love that it’s March 25th and we’re already having our first BBQ of the season. God bless global warming.
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Camille Grammer Will Not Return to RHOBH →
Ugh, we’re totally going to get stuck with Taylor returning now, aren’t we?
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Do you know what really annoys me? Babies who “have” twitter. It’s not cute, it’s not funny.
Conversely, I find pets on twitter rather charming. Giggy Vanderpump-Todd’s tweets are hilarious, which is high praise for a Pomeranian that falls asleep 90% of the time he’s being carried around.
I’m a bundle of contradictions, I know.
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Me: Would you like a...what's wrong? You look upset.
Mama Winkelman: I was just thinking of one summer, long ago. The summer of the bugs...
Me: Oh. Okay, then...
Mama Winkelman: I was just a child that summer. Little Cindy Lou and I were having a sleepover on the porch. Cindy Lou loved to sleep outside that summer. She used to live on Iowa Street, which was a dicey neighborhood at the time. Her father ran the local hardware store...I remember he always used to give me a piece of hard candy. He'd say...
Me: Okay, I'm going to stop you. I'm sure this is a compelling story, but I just wanted to see if you'd like a chai tea from Starbucks. I didn't know I was walking into a mini-production of "Our Town."
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I think we can safely file this under "Shit Gay...
Me: I feel a bit like Amanda Carrington today.
Room: ...who?
Me: She was the princess of Moldavia.
Room: ...is that a real country?
Me: No one has a sense of history these days.
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Am I the only gay not flipping out over the...
Because I feel like I am. Jersey just hasn’t been the same for me since Dina and her fabulous hair left.
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Zara, I’m asking you nicely, no, begging you: you need to make more XS and S sizes for both your in-store locations and online. There is an entire fleet of skinny gay boys who would love to throw more money away at your corporation. Think it over. It would be a win-win for everyone.
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Dammit, Bravo! Can you at least leave *a hint* of...
One day, I dream of correcting my deviated septum and finally ending my twenty-plus years of sinus torment, but then I have to turn on Real Housewives and hear doctors gleefully breaking noses like they’re cracking open a walnut, and the next thing I know, I’m on the floor with someone taking my pulse and frantically digging out the smelling salts, and I basically have to reconsider...
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Kim Zolciak Pregnant...Again... →
I guess this means we can all look forward to another season of her moaning about her va-jay-jay hurting and about just how busy she is/how much help she needs, all while never actually holding her baby.
I miss chain-smoking, wine-guzzling Kim…but still, good for her. Get that child support lined up girl, because we all know this marriage isn’t going to last.
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The only beverages that are even remotely soothing to my sore throat today are iced lattes and champagne.
If I absolutely have to be afflicted with a sore throat, I can take comfort in knowing that at least it is a glamorous one.
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