July 2012
112 posts
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I just need to stop buying SunChips. Their caloric deliciousness entraps me every time.
June 2012
92 posts
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Laughs were had, wine was spilled.
All in all, a lovely June evening.
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While the rest of y'all are at the midnight...
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Tyler Perry is allegedly in the process of...
That’s enough, Tyler Perry. That’s enough.
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Brandi Glanville To Pole Dance in Vegas →
I suspect this means we can all look forward to LeAnn Rimes tweeting about signing up for pole dancing lessons tomorrow.
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I seem to have the theme from Knots Landing stuck in my head this afternoon, which is odd, since I never watched Knots Landing. Hmmm…
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I'm starting to feel like I'm the Tara Reid of...
Much like the security detail and bouncers must be thinking, “Ugh! Her again!” as she’s drunkenly wobbling outside of a club with her Frankenboobs hanging out, the people in Human Resources are probably looking at my resume thinking, “Ugh! Him again! Doesn’t he get it? He’s not wanted here.”
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I have a new cocktail shaker and no vodka.
What is wrong with this picture?
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“Give me a little credit, I think I can tell a top from a bottom.”
– Me, discussing ready-made pie crusts. Happy Pride, everybody!
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Of Tank Tops and Shoulder Pads.
Me: I suppose it's for the best that I have to miss Pride again this year...I don't look good in tank tops and they're pretty much mandatory these days.
Jen: I'm pretty sure you look good in everything.
Me: I don't know, I don't like to show off my shoulders. I don't think they're broad enough. That's why I have shoulder pads in so many of my blazers.
Jen: Oh, that's the reason? I always just assumed it was a Joan Collins/Joan Crawford connection.
Me: Well, you know, there's that too.
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“I can spot a gay and a fake Birkin from ten paces.”
– Me
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The bad news: everyone and everything is annoying me this afternoon (a trend I’m 99% certain will continue throughout the weekend, as friends constantly tweet, facebook, and text me about how fun and slutty Pride is this year, all seemingly just to remind me of how I’m not doing anything, all because I’m still trapped in the midwest and midwestern gays hate me, for reasons that...
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Hedi Slimane to rename iconic fashion house. →
Yves Saint Laurent must be rolling in his grave right now. Mr. Slimane, I respect any vision you bring to the brand, but with all due respect, this is not your house. A great many designers have been able to inject their own DNA into established fashion houses (Tom Ford for Gucci, Phoebe Philo for Chloe, Alexander McQueen for Givenchy, just off the top of my head), so a name change right out of...
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Webster’s Dictionary (or maybe even the American Medical Association) really needs to add “The Gunvalson Spasm” to their roster. This is a real thing, people.
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Lillie and I email about very serious subjects...
Email from Lillie: Why am I still watching this show? I really don't know.
Email #1 from Justin: It boggles my mind that this has been one of the highest-rated seasons of RHOC in Bravo history. NOTHING HAPPENED!
Email #2 from Justin: I also hope you read my "NOTHING HAPPENED!" in a spastic Vicki voice, complete with shaking bobblehead and flailing arms, because that's precisely how it should have been interpreted.
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"You're the Ultimate." --Scandal
Well, I can’t think of a nicer compliment than that.
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Am I the only who constantly wants to punch Guy...
I mean, I don’t usually want to punch people. I’m more of a slapper/drink-thrower, at worst. He’s just so obnoxious, though…it’s like he’s taunting me with his douchiness.
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I suspect amazon.com is trolling me. Why else would they be sending me an email announcement about this very special, one day sale on The Andy Griffith Show: The Complete Series?
Amazon should know better. I fail to see how any of my recent purchases of Dynasty dvds, coffee table books on fashion and back issues of Vogue magazine scream, “Yes! Take me to Mayberry!”
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Laying out in an all black swimsuit when it is 95 degrees was probably not one of my wiser ideas. My junk feels thoroughly roasted.
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I absolutely just caught myself singing "Zou...
Apparently, I’m throwing shade at fictional characters now.
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leoandtelevision:
Britney Spears feat. Bethenny...
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Carole Radziwill just tweeted me, in response to my previous post.
Carole, I have to agree with Aviva. You’re pretty cool.
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For some reason, I have the songs from “Reptar on Ice” stuck in my head this afternoon.
I’ll be the first to admit that this is all very random.
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My mother seriously just called my cell phone to inform me that as soon as I hung up, she would be calling the house phone, so I should be sure to answer that when it rings.
In other words, my mother called me to inform me that she was going to call me. Is this “normal” mother behavior?
